Poem: A Prayer for the Balance.

I asked to know real Grace.
It is my namesake
and I have a feeling I need it.
Instead,
I fight.
I break things.
I break.

So I ask,
God, what can this mean?

Is it a name,
or a thing that lives and breathes?
Does it pardon me, or teach me that I’ve been wrong?

On Sunday mornings,
I believe that there is more to it than a church pew.

On other days, I am caught.

Between hospital beds
and the place where harsh words are said,
in that precarious, miraculous balance
between life 

and death,

I then feel it sustaining me.

Inspired By.

books and tea

I tear myself away from reading this book to bring you a few inspirational posts from around the interwebs. I’ve been on vacation [glorious vacation!] visiting family in Michigan, celebrating my mom’s birthday, and catching up on rest, relaxation and writing. I’ve worked up some new ideas for the blog, and I implemented a new poetry section here this week.

The following posts, like this time away, have been a breath of fresh air to me this week.

Insecurity kills. “You are worth far more then what you do, so don’t flood the internet with you rantings of what you wish you were.”

What to do when your blog growth plateaus. Guest blogger Adam McLane shares some great tips on keeping up the pace when you begin to feel stagnant. My favorite tip: Read a book.

Sometimes I need this reminder: travel young. It’s important. I know this, because I’ve done it. But sometimes in my nostalgia for good memories, I forget that my hunger to see new places isn’t a misguided need for escape, but rather a yearning for new opportunities to grow. Travel is a necessary discipline.

The best kind of friendship is encouraging, loving and brutally honest. I’m thankful for the friends in my life who share this with me, because like Jon Acuff shared this week, it’s the kind that will help you get better.

Writing a blog: is it about truth, or traffic? It’s easy to get the two confused.

And from Enuma Okoro: For the love of God, Write.

And finally, I’m seeing this movie tonight for the second time in a week… Yes, it’s that good.

Have a good weekend, friends.

Poem : The Zest.

DSC_0127

My fist tight,
I learn to squeeze the lemon
with the same might and firmness that life requires of me.
Whether working with my hands,
fingers sticky with pith and juice,
or working with my head,
thoughts bursting forward toward mind-bending possibilities,
I demand fruit,
flavor,
all that it can give me.
So that when I sit down to rest,
I find the spread delicious,
my self satisfied and spent.

Birthday Blessings.

This Thursday my mom will turn the big 5-0. Birthdays are always special, but this one feels especially victorious. She’s made it through a hard year struggling with treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery to combat her metastatic breast cancer.
And so we thought, what better reason to celebrate this milestone than with a surprise birthday party full of friends, family, flowers and good food?
flowers 2 cakes 1
My aunts [my dad’s sister and his brothers’ wives, and my mother’s sister], cousins and I emailed, called, schemed, and prayed for months to plan the party. And then we baked, and cooked, and whipped, and frosted, and decorated, and talked, and laughed.
bakers
It took a lot of prayer, a lot of planning, a lot of lying through my teeth and maybe more frosting than one body should really consume in one weekend, but we pulled it off. She was surprised!
No one spilled the beans, even though most of the party guests saw her in church yesterday morning. In faith, we refrained from canceling it even though she spent a few days in the hospital last week.
And in faith, we celebrated, thanking God for a beautiful day full of energy and joy and time together.
family 4
the suckrows
friends
hugs
Tina by cakes
It was everything we could have hoped for. I’m a happy, relieved, thankful kind of exhausted.
Maybe you and your family have reason to worry, to wonder what the next few months and years will be like, to think that maybe now is not the time to celebrate. I know how that feels.
But this weekend, all my fear and concern and doubt was replaced by something much more important :
Faith.
Faith to believe that even though it seems like a time to fear the future, tomorrow will be a good day. Faith to believe that life is worth celebrating, even when it’s hard. Faith to believe that He knows our hopes and plans, and He’s working on our behalf.
So, don’t hesitate to celebrate. Do it now. Do it while you can, even if you can’t be sure what today, tomorrow, or next week will hold. Do it together, because family is our best resource for support and strength.
Pray hard. Make memories. Eat everything. And whatever happens, choose to celebrate.

Poem: In Sleep

In sleep I dream of strange things
Closets, lobsters, dead dogs
and old friends
Boats and voices
Vivid colors that fade to black and white
Earnest feelings that ache in waking life.
When I’m tired I wish for sleep
When I sleep,
I fall
Hoping to find something -
A sweet lie,
A vacation,
A kiss I needed -
But always I wake up
And my mind is too revealed.