Essential Elements of Blogging : Generosity.

We’ve talked diligence and design, but this third and final installment in the essential elements of blogging is the most important :

Generosity begets generosity.

I’ve learned that if you want people to pay attention to you, you have to start with paying attention to them first.

It’s how you build community. You can write great content, but if you’re not actively engaging with others through their blogs and social media, your blog will remain a lone little island of you, your mother, and that stranger in Romania.

Also, I should distinguish between positive and negative engagement.

It is the difference between demanding versus inviting, marketing versus dialoguing.

No one wants to be put on the spot to share or endorse your work. No one needs another sales pitch.

When we share good, honest, vulnerable, true stories in our work and engage others in their honesty and vulnerability and talent, we don’t have to beg.

If we give and share unconditionally, if we admit that nothing is original and that creativity is cultivated best through community, everything will grow organically.

My blog didn’t start growing until I started connecting with others through comments, Twitter, and content sharing. I didn’t meet other writers until I fell down the rabbit hole of the blog world. The tandem of blogging and tweeting has connected me to the deeper network of writers that have inspired and changed me. And I learned to engage them without expecting anything in return. I learned to build relationships.

A short but extremely important list of people I’ve discovered :

Ally & Darrell Vesterfelt | Jeff Goins | Samantha Shorey | Joe Bunting | Leigh Kramer | Lore Ferguson

And this is why I won’t ever stop doing my Inspired By series; it’s an unconditional exercise in hospitality and giving credit where credit is due. I would be an empty, inert vessel if I wasn’t reading and exploring other blogs and books and articles every week. What I read has an enormous influence on how I arrive at my own content. I share because otherwise my content would be two-dimensional, and in a sense, dishonest. I share out of gratitude. I share because I want you to be inspired to explore and grow, too.

Check back tomorrow for a full list of lovelinks that helped me develop good blogging habits, or jump in right now by perusing my “Inspired By” links in the column to your right.

Share your own thoughts : What are the golden rules of blogging? Or if you don’t blog, how have you learned to be generous in your work?

[Photo.]

  • http://sayable.net Lore Ferguson

    Thanks for including me on this list friend! I was already planning on sharing this post (because it’s SO important for bloggers to learn to share well =)), but was pleasantly surprised to see my name on the list. Thank you, truly. I’ve been so blessed by you and your heart. I mean that.

  • http://www.tonyjalicea.com Tony J. Alicea

    Thankfully I learned this early on. When I started blogging consistently in 2010 I was immediately connected to Michael Perkins (http://www.thehandwritten.com). Through that I met so many other bloggers and like you, went down the rabbit hole of the blog world.

    The only reason I was able to grow my audience was by being generous. I read and commented furiously on blogs. I connected and chatted regularly on Twitter. And I didn’t have to beg anyone for anything. The law of reciprocity just kicked in.

    Unfortunately I’m not able to read as many blogs, comment or even chat as much on Twitter anymore but I still have a pretty loyal following. It’s a blessing and when I do have the opportunity, I take the time to encourage other writers and share their work.

  • TGL

    I couldn’t agree more. The friendships gained and relationships made through connecting have proved invaluable. Engaging with these people and their lives has enriched mine.

  • http://www.leighkramer.com HopefulLeigh

    Bethany! I am so honored to be listed here. Thank you, friend. So glad we’ve connected on the interwebs and looking forward to hanging out in person SOON!

  • http://cajoh.blogspot.com CaJoh

    “I’ve learned that if you want people to pay attention to you, you have to start with paying attention to them first.”

    This reminds me of a resolution that I’ve been wanting to make: “In order to be interesting, be interested” I have found that in conversation if you ask more questions than explanations, you tend to have a more fruitful conversation. I find those people who pose an interest in me interesting, so I figure if one is interested in others, then they too will be interesting.

    • http://www.bethanysuckrow.com Bethany

      It’s so true, CaJoh. No one cares about anyone that’s totally stuck on themselves. Thanks for reading and commenting, as always. :)

  • http://www.brynnabegins.com Brynna

    Congrats on the lovely redesign!! I’ve been following along faithfully even though I’ve been quiet. Thanks for including me… it means a lot. :]

    • http://www.brynnabegins.com Brynna

      Oh my gosh I’m so awkward. I meant thanks for including me on the last (design) post. That wasn’t meant to be underhanded at all. Hahaha.

      • http://www.bethanysuckrow.com Bethany

        Brynna, I knew what you meant! No worries. And I’ve always loved the design of your site, so props to you. Hope you’re well, even if you’re quiet. :)

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  • Adriana

    “…and that stranger in Romania.”Haha.I laughed so hard!:)

    I love your new home!I hope it brings good luck…And yes, communicating/networking is very important and probably the most challenging part that I , personally, have to deal with.

    • http://www.bethanysuckrow.com Bethany

      I always thought it was really funny that in my early days of blogging my largest readership wasn’t even American, but Romanian. It was you that whole time! Haha. Thanks for sticking around, Adriana. <3

      • Adriana

        No need to thank me.Really.It’s a pleasure to read your blog.
        Best wishes to you.