Guest Post Swap with Allison Vesterfelt

Hello, dear readers. My friend Allison Vesterfelt are guest-post swapping today! Ally just turned in the manuscript for her memoir, “Packing Light,” so her post for you is about the process of writing through her story. Are any of you working on memoirs or writing a book, or just thinking about how to live a better story? Share your thoughts with us, and be sure to check out my post for Ally’s blog, “‘Comfort and Joy’ in a Season of Grief.” 

Writing My First Book: Packing Light, A Guide To Living Life with Less Baggage

From the time the idea first came to me, to the time Packing Light is published in September, 2013, at least three years will have passed.

It’s been a long time coming.

The wait has been long and the learning curve has been steep, and like all those who have scaled steep learning curves, I bear the scars of climbing to the top, and then tumbling tired down the other side. For first-time writers who hope that what’s in their heart will someday be on paper, I thought I’d share a little bit about my experience.

Living your story.

Before you can ever write your story, you have to live your story. For me this meant going on a road trip where I visited all 50 states (48 by car, 2 by airplane). For you it will be something different.

Living your story gives it the meat you need to tell it well. You can’t skip this part.

Before I left home on my trip, I thought I knew what I was going to write about. I already had the title in mind, and I figured the people I met along the way, and the experiences I had, were just adding icing to the already delicious cake. But I was wrong.

I didn’t even know what “Packing Light” meant before I left home.

I had no idea how hard it was, or how important.

My road trip didn’t alter the direction of my book, it was the direction of my book. You can’t write something before you live it. Don’t ever forget that you are the walking, breathing, living manifestation of your message.

Down time.

As if the logistics of executing a 50-state road trip weren’t complicated enough, coming home to write the manuscript was worse. I had the hardest time choosing what stories to include, and what to leave out.

I would sit at my computer screen, paralyzed, terrified that — after all this — I would never write my book.

These were some of the most depressing days of my journey because, after all that happened, sometimes it felt like I had nothing to say.

How could I have nothing to say?

But what I found was that, as I let the experiences and ideas sit and simmer together in the reality of everyday life, the most important stuff started to float to the surface.

Sometimes waiting, as difficult as it is, is our best friend.

Waiting for a publisher.

There was also this inclination I had to wait for a publisher to pick up my proposal before I would begin writing. I even had several people urge me in this direction. “You don’t want to start writing the manuscript until a publisher approves your project,” they would say.

I think they were trying to protect me from unnecessary extra work.

But in retrospect, I can see how I wasn’t waiting for a publisher to approve my project, I was waiting for a publisher to approve me, as a writer. It was like I needed someone else to affirm that I was going in the right direction.

Do you need affirmation to get started? Here let me give it to you.

You have a good idea.

No one else has it. If you don’t write it. Who will?

The Routine.

For me, writing involves this strange balance of routine and spontaneity. Since I work from home, my schedule changes everyday, so I just decided that I was going to write for two hours, everyday, first thing in the morning.

I would wake up at 5:00am, before there were any other distractions, and write.

I set my timer for an hour at a time.

I promised myself I wouldn’t get up until the timer went off.

Some mornings I wrote 200 words, some I wrote 3000, and some I spent most of my time just staring at my computer screen.

Finding Healing.

Healing comes simultaneous to writing, if we let it.

As I began to write the manuscript, I started to see things that happened on the road trip in a brand new way. It was like I was watching someone else live through what I experienced.

I had a zoomed-out, 180-degree perspective.

I didn’t have to have all the answers before I started writing, or know what was important to include or leave out, I just had write. I just had to start putting words on paper.

And, as I wrote, healing started to come.

Sometimes we try to force healing before we write, and our words come across stilted and dishonest. Or, instead of writing healing words, we just write mean words about people who are different than us.

But good writing changes us as much as it changes our reader.

Put your back in to it.

Don’t think you’ll walk away unscathed from writing a book. Writing takes hard work, just like anything worth doing. Be prepared to bear the emotional and physical scars of it.

During the process of writing, I developed a back injury.

I know it sounds stupid. Who injures themselves while writing? But I guess it must have been from the hunched over position where I found myself every morning, frantically trying to get my thoughts on paper.

To me the injury is more symbolic than anything. If you want to do something important, you’re going to have to put your back into it.

What about you? What’s the most important thing you’ve written? Will you share your experience?

~

 Allison is a blogger, writer and thinker who is becoming brave enough to live and tell the truth. She’s passionate about helping people to tell, hear and understand stories that inspire, uplift, encourage, and even convict by pointing to the truth of Jesus. She writes a column, “Packing Light” for Prodigal Magazine, which she and her husband Darrell own and manage. The Vesterfelts live in Minneapolis, MN.

 

  • http://www.ordinaryservant.com/ Pilar Arsenec

    I’m still trying to figure that one out. Like you, I’m dealing with health
    issues right now, which is rudely interrupting my life and thus, my writing
    practice.

    • http://www.facebook.com/allison.vesterfelt.7 Ally Vesterfelt

      Pilar — yeah, it can be hard to keep writing when you’re in physical pain. For now focus on getting better, okay? Saying a prayer for your quick recovery.

  • Stacey

    Allison – I love this. I especially love the part where you talk about how sometimes writers try to force healing in their lives before they start a new project, rather than find healing during the process of writing. It is so true and I agree that “forced healing” creates work that sounds cookie cutter and “stilted.” I love to write and honestly, one of my biggest fears in pursuing a bigger project is feeling like I have to be healed before I do it lest I create something dishonest. Thank you for this post – it’s good to know that it’s okay to find healng in the process.

    • http://www.bethanysuckrow.com/ Bethany Suckrow

      Stacey, thanks for your comment. You hit the nail on the head here when you say “one of my biggest fears in pursuing a bigger project is feeling like I have to be healed before I do it.” I think I feel this way a lot, even when I think of a post for my blog, yet when I post what’s really happening in my heart, in real time, I get the most wonderful responses and conversation from readers, which helps me heal. Thanks for leaving such a thoughtful comment. ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/allison.vesterfelt.7 Ally Vesterfelt

      Yes, Stacey, thank you for this. I think the hardest part about finding healing in your writing is that you have to feel the pain of it (what you experienced) instead of glossing over it. My favorite part of what you said is that, if we wait to be healed before we write, we may never write. Such a great addition. Thanks for your comment.

  • http://twitter.com/CLRgrrl Clairikine

    Thanks for this post!

    Unfortunately injury usually comes with the territory of continuous writing. I try to put in hours at the local swimming pool for this reason, and practice wrist stretches on a regular basis. I think pain is inevitable, but worse pain can often be avoided.

    • http://www.facebook.com/allison.vesterfelt.7 Ally Vesterfelt

      Clairikine — I agree. I’ve been doing some stretches lately, icing the effected area, and taking something to keep the swelling down. That seems to be helping.

      I think the “feel the pain” was more of a metaphor than anything. Thanks for your addition.

  • Kandace

    Sometimes my healing goes so deep as I write that I realize what I am really doing is worshiping my Healer. I have to stop at times and soak in what He’s done, what’s He is doing and what He will continue to do as I trust in Him. I am fearfully aware that if my words do not lead people to think upon their Creator, all they get is me. While I know I am loved and valuable because of the One who created me, my story is powerless without His Spirit working in it.

  • http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/ Grace at {Gabbing with Grace}

    Helpful thoughts here, Ally. I started working on my memoir (for the 2nd time after the 1st manuscript was housed on a stolen laptop) in 2006. I can definitely agree that I’ve had so much living to do before getting that story out. Not only has it taken a long time to even remember things, but it’s taken a long time to understand the full ramifications of the childhood I’m writing about…there are things I had to go through in the past couple of years to be able to write honestly that I survived it all. I do hate that. I hate that it’s been almost 7 years but on the other hand I’m thankful for how much I’ve learned in that space, especially the voice I want to write it in…my own voice for my own life. With a largely un-edited 70,000 word manuscript breathing down my throat I feel like you did once you got home: wondering if I’m ever gonna finish off this mighty beast….not even being able to imagine the disappointment I would feel in myself if I gave up now. So, no I’m not waiting on an agent or a publisher to affirm me, I’m mostly waiting on me…trying to honor the time this project needs for whatever reason. It may 2014 or ever 2015 (God help me) before my memoir ever sees the light of day…and I know that 10+ year journey will have been worth it…even if it sells 25 copies to each of my cousins. =)