Prodigal : What I Should Have Said Ten Years Ago.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about questioning my own authority and the way I’ve felt silenced by certain power dynamics, especially in the conservative Christian culture that I grew up in. Today, I’m over at Prodigal Mag exploring the ways in which that culture gave me false authority, especially in terms of purity and modesty culture, and how it influenced my relationships – to my boyfriends and my friends.

It’s on the drive home from dinner that she and I start talking about the modesty/purity culture stuff. She’s been reading links here and there that I’ve posted on Facebook – you know the ones. She tells me she really related to Sarah feeling like “damaged goods” and really appreciated Emily “turning in her v-card” and was fascinated by that statistic she saw about 80% of our Christian peers not being virgins.

My best friend is one of the 80% and I am one of the 20% —

But we sat in the same youth group and heard the same purity talks. Why did we choose so differently? What were the things we believed or didn’t believe about sex that led to our decisions? How do we feel about those choices now?

It occurs to me as we talk that this conversation with my best friend should have happened ten years ago. (Read more here.)

If you haven’t been aware, the Church’s longtime stance on purity has been a topic of much debate in the faith blogging sphere as my peers and I sort through its implications for rape and abuse culture, sexism, and developing a healthy sexual ethic. If you would like to read more posts about the topic, I suggest you peruse this helpful roundup at A Deeper Story, or follow along with Preston Yancey’s series on developing a healthy sexual ethic.

http://hila-lumiere.blogspot.in/ Hila

Such timing Bethany, I’ve been thinking about exactly the same thing. I over-think everything, so when I write a ‘good’ poem effortlessly, for example, I question it and try to unpick it and give it an ‘idea’, rather than letting it be. It’s something I’m trying to let go of. What an interesting interview.
- http://www.bethanysuckrow.com/ Bethany Suckrow
  
  Thanks, Hila. I’m glad I am not the only one that gets stuck in my writing this way, especially with my poetry. It often goes off in its own direction, and I, the chronic over-thinker, worry that I’m “doing it wrong.”
Sam Shorey

Neil just gets it! I (like you and Hila) can get so caught up in my head by trying to describe or think of something. But my best writing comes from just letting go and “remembering”. It definitely makes me believe in the muses!